The Search for Something I Already Have

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m searching for something.

Something just out of reach.

Something that, once I have it, will finally make me feel like I’ve arrived, feel fulfilled.

Like I’ve become who I’m supposed to be.

I catch myself scrolling, watching, comparing.

Measuring my life against highlight reels, timelines, and silent pressures.

Even after that …

I tell myself I’m on my own path

but why does it feel like I’m behind?

I get frustrated.

Mad that I’m not where I thought I’d be by now.

Mad that after all the work, all the growing, all the healing,

I still feel like I’m waiting for something.

But waiting for what?

Because if I sit with myself long enough [ If I really get quiet, sit and listen ] I hear the truth:

I already have everything I’ve been searching for.

I am not behind.

I am not incomplete.

I don’t need permission to be whole.

The world will try to convince me otherwise.

That I should be further, faster, more successful, more something.

That if I just do more, achieve more, become more, I’ll finally feel at peace.

But peace isn’t something I need to chase.

Peace is something I need to claim.

So today, I am choosing to stop looking outside of myself for what already exists within me.

I am choosing to trust my own timing, my own process. [ There's a process before the promise ]

"I am choosing to see myself fully!"

Without comparison, without doubt, without rush.

Because I am already HER.

May we continue to unlearn, heal, and rise into our fullest selves.

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